The dinner committee – They get one with extra stuffing for their hard work and dedication. It’s committees like this one that make this town so nice, despite the politics and infighting that goes on all the time. I hear LaVerne Ahearn (I like the way that name kind o’ rhymes) likes a drumstick. We’ll save one fer here.

Mayor John Picard – Whilst we like the way hizzoner has done most things, we do think the handling of L’Affaire McMahon-Barron was not one of his best performances. How does a community biz get kicked in the pants the way that one did, and yes, Cobina has been friends with James the Elder and Junior for more years than yew can count. That don’t make a difference. Shabby is shsabby. His turkey comes with an extra bitter side of turnips.

Council Chairman James O’Brien – He gits three turkeys, so he can juggle ‘em. Cobina, who has a difficult time rememberin’ whot she had fer lunch the day before, can’t understand how he can juggle his position at the firehouse on El-em Street and still have time to chair that band of legislative loons on the City Council – and I use the term “loons” with all affection. This turkey will come with a coupon to Bill Barr’s copy shop so he can make copies of all the correspondence he’s getting from hizxoner that ain’t getting’ to his colleagues.

Seventh District Councilwoman Nancy Rossi – Her turkey comes with a long neck. I hear-tell from Sammy Bluejay that when she found out from OPM people that raising taxes and bonding was their answer to the deficit, her neck stretched quite long. T’wasn’t what she’d hoped to hear. She was lookin’ fer a campaign isshew come next fall. Back to the drawing board – or oven in this case.

Outgoing Democratic Registrar of Voters Chuck Marino – Marino’s turkey comes stuffed with lobster or whotever else he wants. After dealin’ with his own set of loonies in the Actors Colony fer sooooo long, he can finally git outta there. He’s gonna look like the patron saint of prudence and clear thinking after a month or two of his successor.

Incoming Democratic Registrar of Voters Michelle Hufcut -- Her turkey’s gonna come with a book of numbers stuffed in its neck. It’ll definitely have Secretary of State numbers there, seein’ as how she didn’t talk to that office on election day (tho’ she said she did). My gut reaction is she’s gonna need a hotline.

Councilman Gary Artosky – After the caper with JoAnn Callegari’s benefits (where he trumped the council and did his own thing), he’s gonna get a bird stuffed with the west end of an east-bound horse.

Finance Director Bob Barron – See Mayor Picard and add some “happy pills.”

The West Shore Taxpayers Association – Now that they hold the balance of power on the Fire Commish, their turkey should come in a glass house. They are now the occupants of said house and are not the rock throwers, but the throwees. It’ll be interestin’ to see jest how the group handles it.

Democratic Chairman James Morrissey – His turkey is gonna be stuffed with crow. The esteemed chairman is gonna hafta git a taste fer crow cuz that’s whot his new friends in the Borer faction are gonna feed him before this is all over. I don’t know whot his former supporters would give him, so let’s stick with crow.

Mrs. James Morrissey, councilwoman from the 8th District – A turkey that has a glossary stuck betwixt its wings. That way she can read and understand that votes do certain things and mean certain things and result in certain things so she can never use that excuse again.

Dorinda Borer – She gets the Lucretia Borgia model, stuffed with all kinds of interestin’ bitter herbs. It also has a knife in its back, kind of a metaphor.

Former Mayor H. Richard Borer, Jr. – A turkey stuffed with bond requisitions and money transfers. Apt don’tcha think. He’ll keep getting it, too, until his deficit is paid up.

City Activist Tim Wrightington – A bird a little singed on the edges. That’s the way Timmy’s been lately.

City Publicist Michael P. Walsh – Walshey should have a sweet, simple bird. Not too much frill, and not too cluttered with other things. He gets that kind o’ stuff in work all week. Extra cranberry sauce fer the guy as well.

All our weekly readers – The wish fer a happy Thanksgiving and the best the Holiday Season has to offer.

So, as we say each week, that’s it till next, mitt luff und kizzez,